3: Another Day, Another Destiny

Chapter 3 of "A River Trembles"

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The story began in A Grail for Eidothea. You really need to catch up to make sense of A River Trembles. Go on, save this post and go have a binge read of that and the first two chapters of A River Trembles. You deserve it.

Eidothea hints that another member of the Chosen Court may have been found. There is political wheeling-dealing. Ondine, a healer, finds that Eidothea’s recovery is slower than most dreigiau môr. Llyr comes up with a way for Eidothea to meet with Maeve sooner, and confesses that he is the prophet. That it is not Eidothea’s role to play. Was she meant to be the Grealseeker and nothing else? There are unexpected consequences to Llyr’s plan.

I woke, nestled in Llyr’s arms. My limbs felt heavy, the ice-cold fire that had ravaged them now gone, leaving only the horrible memory. I lay still, listening to Llyr’s heartbeat. Neither of us had died drinking from the Greal.

His parting words rang in my ears. Would he permit such intimacy if he knew who I had loved instead of him? Whatever spell he had cast, it had not rid me of my guilt.

He stirred and sat up. For the first time I noticed a new bandage on his upper arm.

:Who hurt you?: Propping myself up on one arm, I reached for his bandaged arm.

He jerked it out of my reach. :A minor scratch,: he declared. I knew he lied.

:Llyr!: I said, exasperated.

I saw him react to my exasperation: a small smile, and then I felt it. The twinge of pain, the shadow of heartbreak, his deep, deep love for me, his longing to tell me — A blank space appeared in my mind like a boulder, from behind which came wisps of longing. Whatever secret he held lay hidden behind that blankness.

His emotions became mine. :Llyr…: I grasped at my head, dizzy, overwhelmed. I was rudderless in a swirling maelstrom of Llyr’s feelings. This was how I knew he had just lied. I felt his guilt like it was mine.

He hauled me into his arms, holding me in a fresh desperation. I admit I did the same.

:I did not … imagine … it would be like this.: Llyr managed that coherent thought. :Hold on to me.:

My stomach revolted, not at his touch but at the incessant deluge of his feelings. I sensed his queasiness rise also in response to mine. I clamped my lips shut. I refused be sick.

Losing all sense of time and place, I completely inhabited Llyr’s interior and he mine. There seemed no escaping the maze, except perhaps unconsciousness.

Llyr latched onto the idea. :Sleep,: he thought to Ondine. I sent my own begging thought to her before Llyr’s heartbreak rose and reclaimed me.

He knew everything now. He felt my shame and my betrayal. I knew for those emotions came flooding back to me. His pain burned both of us.

Sobbing, I clung to him, his body shuddering with grief, both mine and his. Holding him was not enough. I had to find some way to spare him my sorrows.

Blindly, I sought out his mouth with mine and claimed it.

He startled and then sank into my kiss, the salt from our tears dissolving on our tongues.

I felt his desire, his hunger, for me. My own rose to match it, a powerful wanting that overtook all my senses, all my wisdom. We were of one mine, one heart. We might as well be of one body.

I cannot lay all the blame for this wanting, this desire, at Llyr’s door. I remember each time that I’d thought of him, my heart had beat faster. I remembered the little frisson each time I saw him.

The feelings sparked by those memories flowed into Llyr. His kisses gentled. I felt his passion subside into tenderness. I still ached with the wanting, as did he but the room stopped spinning quite so fast. We continued to kiss, to focus on that one action, to feel only tenderness toward each other.

A cold fog descended over my mind—our mind. At last we separated, and slept.

The deep ocean chill dragged me into consciousness. I opened my eyes. Maeve loomed over me.

Llyr’s emotions flooded my heart. Maeve murmured a few words. His presence became a background hum of which I was keenly aware and rather desperately wanted.

Maeve huffed. :Girl, you do not make it easy for yourself.: She said a few more words  and the hum faded.

I calmed, my awareness expanding beyond Maeve. To my left, two dreigiau môr, one with silvery scales, one with periwinkle blue scales, supported a semi-conscious Llyr.

:Ceridwy ferch Heddwch and her daughter,: Maeve supplied.

Llyr’s presence budded anew in my mind.

:Behind the boulder, Llyr,: intoned Maeve. :What foolishness is this?: she snapped. :You aren’t supposed to bond until the Court is gathered.:

Ondine answered. :Eidothea needed to heal in order to meet with you. Whatever he did has healed her.: Her dragon self swooned. :So romantic.:

Ceridwy added, :My daughter’s gift is strong but healing still takes time. Llyr took matters into his own hands. He can deny her nothing.:

:Foolish boy.: Maeve snorted. :There is training that comes before the Chosen Court is bound, to prevent members becoming lost in each other.:

Llyr twitched and slithered away from his family. :I completed that training.:

:Much good it did you, and Eidothea has not. What caused you to rush?:

Llyr ducked his head and his scales reddened further. :I wanted to know,: he mumbled. :She wanted to know.:

:About?: Ceridwy quizzed, her tone sharp.

Maeve rumbled, :Ceridwy ferch Heddwch, Ondine ferch Peredur, you may leave us now. This is Chosen Court business.:

With great reluctance, the pair left, disappearing into the gloom.

I knew what Llyr wanted to know. The reason for my shame and thus, the condition of my heart. Was it his or Jasper’s? Did he know now? Did I?

Llyr’s head jerked in my direction.

Maeve blocked my view of him. :No,: she declared. :Do not go down that path again. Pay attention. I want you to practice this multiple times a day until it becomes rote. This will shield you from the onslaught of emotions as well as shield your own from others in your Court.:

I will not share the contents of the spell. It is a Chosen Court secret.

When she was satisfied, she turned to Llyr. I felt his presence increase in my mind and I quickly muttered the spell. Llyr still remained present but he no longer overwhelmed me. The connection became a promise, waiting to be fulfilled.

I repeated the spell. Llyr too had regained his equilibrium.

Maeve regarded the two of us. :Now what was so important that you had to almost destroy each other?:

:It wasn’t on purpose.: Llyr send me an apologetic look that I felt in my bones.

:Forgiven,: I thought back to him. The thought traveled like a languorous finger along his arm, closing the space between us until—

I repeated the spell. Llyr’s lips moved, doing the same.

:I had to do it,: Llyr muttered, :Eidothea needed to be healed in order to see you. Time is of the essence. She knows she is not the prophet, but I haven’t yet told her…: He hung his head embarrassed.

I frowned. I felt his every emotion but his every thought remained hidden from me. What had he divined from my complicated mass of emotions?

Maeve sighed. :Eidothea, the bonding not only linked your consciousnesses but it makes the invisible visible. Llyr, remove your bandage.:

Llyr tore it from his arm with his claws. His birthmark, the shape of the Greal, now shone with a golden outline.

:The Greal.: I had a moment of panic. Had we left it unprotected?

Unbidden, Llyr swam to my side, brushing against me to soothe agitation I thought I had kept hidden. But not from him. This would take some getting used to.

:The Greal is by Maeve’s door,: he told me, referring to the gaping cave the ancient prophet inhabited. He nudged me. :Look down.:

Someone had draped seaweed in a wide sash across my chest. Clawed hand shaking, I tore away the silken leaves. I tilted my head, trying to better see the shining mark on my upper chest, above my right breast. :What is that?:

Both Llyr and Maeve supplied vision from their perspective: an almost complete circle with two solid circles at each end of the line.

:What is it?: I repeated, no closer to understanding.

:A torc,: Maeve supplied. :You are Chosen as ruler of all dreigiau môr. You are the Monarch.:

:What? No—: Shock dragged my senses into a dark undertow of thought. How could I be the ruler? I had made too many foolish choices already. This could not be. :No.:

:The prophet finds the ruler first before any of the other Court members become visible,: Llyr reminded me. :I found you first.:

:Your bond is intense because you are prophet and queen. It will always be closer than any of the other bonds you will experience with the Chosen Court.:

:Never mind that! How can I be the ruler? Be queen?: I clutched at my head, the claws scraping against my scaly cheeks.

:We already knew you are unique, Eidothea Pendyr. What’s one more special trait?: Maeve’s laugh sounded like cascading gravel.

I groaned. :I will not be accepted. I am not fully dreigiau môr and I am a woman.:

:Your gender is irrelevant, girl. As for the rest…: Maeve shifted. :No soul can deny the Chosen Court. That is one benefit from you bonding so early.:

I tried to cover my face with my hands. I wanted to hide my terror at taking on such a role, feeling so ill-equipped. How could this be so? Was there no choice for me in this?

:Must I accept?: I wiped my eyes.

Llyr gripped my arm, his scaly body rubbing against mine. Through our merged heart, I felt his wanting to comfort me. He must have experienced my repulsion to this news.

Maeve canted her huge head and regarded me with unexpected tenderness. :There is always a choice … and there are always consequences, no matter what you choose. The task set for you as monarch is great, and you may yet fail.:

:Choice?: I snorted. :I am branded. You know very well the choice has been taken from me.: I glared at Llyr, who recoiled, his lips moving in the spell to dull my angry onslaught upon his senses.

:Saving you, saving my people, that was my choice,: Llyr retorted. :I’ve accepted my fate and you need to accept yours.:

It was all too much. All this responsibility for people I barely knew, for a culture I did not fully understand. For a life I never asked for. Oh, it was fine to help Llyr change the world, but to take that mantle upon my own shoulders, that I alone must do this?

:How can it be me?: I asked, once I marshalled my thoughts. :How can I rule over a people I have never lived among? I will not be accepted by them, Chosen Court or not. Ceridwy worried about Llyr’s acceptance as king, and she has influence!:

:You are bound into the Chosen Court.: Llyr regarded me and I could not read his expression. Nor could I feel any emotion from him as we had repeated the spell so many times by now. :Now they cannot argue it is not so.:

:It will not be enough.: I knew nothing of dreigiau môr society but I knew my history. Nothing good came of upstart, foreign rulers. :There is no party who will support me.:

:You have my family and your grandmother.:

I raised a disbelieving eyebrow. :Grandmother was ready to disinherit me for disrespecting the ring.:

:Yet you found the Greal and returned with it,: Maeve put in. :This brings you great acclaim and support. We must act while we still have that.:

:All of Caer Morgana believes it is lost,: I retorted.

Llyr added, :It brought us time to heal.: I felt his apology and sent a silent acknowledgement of it.

Maeve wearily shook her head from side to side. :Once the truth is revealed, the support will be there. You have mine, as past prophet and as your several greats-great aunt. Do not think I would let you stand alone. I and the Chosen Court is with you.:

:A Chosen Court of two?: I sneered, which was unbecoming but I still looked for a way out, some other solution than becoming the dreigiau môr monarch. :Against the Council? Against the royal family?:

Maeve sighed. :Ceridwy and your grandmother have enough supporters that it won’t be a problem.:

:But how am I not the prophet? I have had visions.: I looked back and forth between Llyr and Maeve, hoping this was some misunderstanding.

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