5: Silver Threads

Chapter 5 of "A River Trembles", Book Two of The Môrdreigiau Chronicles

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The story began in A Grail for Eidothea. You really need to catch up to make sense of A River Trembles. Go on, save this post and go have a binge read. You deserve it.

Eidothea hasn’t quite come around to the idea of being the monarch. Maeve is revealed as another member of the Chosen Court. Eidothea confesses she may have already found the fourth member. Llyr confesses his love and Eidothea confesses that the emotion of love that he feels through their bond is not for him, but for Jasper. I know.

Edited transcript of interview with Llyr ap Peredur, Prophet for the Dreigiau Môr Chosen Court. Interview conducted on 11th August, 1825 by Miss Juliana Davies and transcribed a day later.

Mr. Llyr, thank you for taking the time to meet with me to discuss details not revealed in the Monarch’s diary. Let’s start with what occurred after you bonded with Eidothea. Would you share how it felt in that moment to learn Eidothea loved someone else?

She loves another.

Another. Not me. The woman I adored. Adore still, though it hurts me to my core. Eidothea, my salve.

I used to run when I was hurt, swam as fast and as far as I could. To flee the nightmares I went to her. Just glimpsing her on the beach eased my soul. How could I not love her?

I can’t flee to her now. She’s the one who has hurt me, deceived me, shamed me. I whispered the spell, giving it strength, wanting to block her utterly. Her presence became a distant ache.

I thought, given time, she would love me too. On her first visit to Caer Morgana, she clung to me, relied on me. Her frightened gaze turned to me for consolation or answers.

When I disrobed before her in the spring house, I didn’t need to be bound to her to know she was scandalised and aroused. I knew she desired me. I wish I had acted then instead of giving her the time and space she needed to adjust to her new world. As her only friend and ally, how could I unsettle her?

Instead of running from her, I swim ahead, pushing through the ocean, trying to shake off the leaden weights of her revelations that will sink me into the deeps. Not matter how I twist, the fact remains.

She loves another. One who hurt her, who broke her heart. She cannot still love him. But yet she does.

I flip onto my back and survey the sea’s ceiling, far above. She didn’t want to tell me, to hurt me. Surely, I still had a chance. She cared for me a little. She knew how I felt, how I still feel.

I glanced behind me to see her trailing me, drooping. None of my pain should reach her. I will not hurt her like he did.

I may be a fool but there can be no other for me.

I don’t know what to do. We have slept in the same bed, been inseparable, and yet now I cannot bear to be near her, to know…

I execute a full body roll, hoping in vain to shake off my despairing sadness. I need time to absorb this blow but I fear our cause will not allow it. It will give her time too, to put her heartbreak behind her.

And then I’ll win her back.

During the journey back to the caer, Llyr had somehow walled himself off completely from me. I saw him with my eyes, but with my heart, he was a blank space. We traveled in silence. What else could I say? I had hurt him and nothing I could say would make it right.

As we neared Caer Morgana’s gate, Llyr paused. I caught up to him. He covered his mark with a winding of seaweed. He harvested a few branches of seaweed and draped them over and around my chest. :Once we change, try to don them again quickly before anyone sees your mark.:

I nodded, shaken. His gentle action belied his cold voice. He did not hate me yet.

Back in Caer Morgana, we resumed our human forms. I shed two of the branches and covered up with the remaining two.

We walked the streets in silence. At his door, he halted, his back to me. :I think … I think you should go to your grandmother’s house. I cannot bear to see you right now.:

Stunned, I stared at his stiff back and shoulders. I did not need to see through to his heart. Llyr might not hate me, but he despised me. :I am … I am not sure I can find the way.:

:Ondine will take you. Wait here.: He disappeared into the house.

My insides froze. For the first time since the betrayal, I felt anger instead of shame. I held it in, shielded it from Llyr, whose presence I still faintly sensed. Even the Chosen Court bond could not be overcome by his spells.

:Well,: a male voice drawled behind me. :Alone, Miss Pendyr?:

I spun. Ladon Tregallas stood before me in a relaxed pose. His robes matched the colour of his golden skin, shot through with copper threads. His dark auburn hair remained cropped, his tousled curls floating atop his head like fronds.

I decided not to call to Llyr for help. I could handle this. :Mr. Tregallas.: I sketched a curtsey better suited to Above Sea. :I believe you owe me an apology.:

His laughter rang mockingly in my mind. :Of course, Miss Pendyr.: He sketched a bow.

Glancing around, I saw our strange mannerisms received notice from those in the street. :A bow is not an apology.:

Ladon’s eyes narrowed. :Forgive me, Miss Pendyr.: His thought swooned with insincerity. :I fear I overstepped in my enthusiasm for the prize.:

Frowning, I regarded him. Did he speak of his assault upon my person when searching for the Grealseeker ring, or of coming after Llyr and I in pursuit of the Greal? :Overstepped is too mild a word for what you did.:

His lips quirked. :A misstep then. I would make a different choice if I could do it over.: He gestured at Llyr’s home behind me. :You’re not going in?:

:I am going to Grandmother’s house,: I replied, hearing in my word choice echoes of a girl in a red cloak.

:Shall I walk with you?:

:I would rather you did not.: My lip curled. Could he not take the hint?

:Do you have a choice?: He gestured ahead of him. :Shall we?:

Walking in a public space would provide a modicum of safety. He would not dare attack me again, would he? I kept my distance but moved forward with him.

We paused at a crossroads. Ladon chose a direction but stopped when I hesitated to follow him. I wished I had paid more attention that one time I’d been to Grandmother’s. His head canted to one side. He smirked. :Do you even know the way?:

Squaring my shoulders, I replied, :Of course!: I set off in the direction Ladon had chosen.

He muttered something. Was it a curse? With any luck, he would tire of this game soon. He stepped closer, placing a hand at my elbow. :I will make sure you do not get lost.:

I jerked away, striding forward.

His legs being longer, he easily caught up. My heart pounded with fear. I could not forget him assaulting me. I wanted to run, but was that seemly for dreigiau môr’s future queen? We walked for several minutes.

Ladon guided me down a narrow laneway. I glanced about. Not a soul to be seen. We had left the main thoroughfare behind. I did not remember coming this way before. All the streets had been wide and busy.

I glanced up at him. Something about his features held my attention.

:There we go.: Ladon sounded satisfied, although I could not imagine why.

He closed the gap between us. I stumbled back, a hard gritty wall stopping my progress. I should not have walked with him. I had never been safe, I was not safe now—

Ladon loomed over me. His fingertip traced the side of my face down to my chin. :You flutter like a caged bird. Do not fret. I will not hurt you.:

:I—: The words stuck and would not come. I stared up at him, my eyes wide.

His fingers slid under my chin and with thumb and forefinger, he tilted back my head. :My dear Eidothea, you are not to my taste. It would be great sport to take liberties with you, but not today. Perhaps some other time?: His fingers slid down my neck, down the collar of my robe.

I thought I might expire. :What—what have you done?:

His gaze shot from my décolletage to my face. He looked surprised. :You still resist?: His lips moved.

I realised he recited a spell. My body grew languorous with unwanted desire. My lips parted, my gills fluttered quick and panting. Part of me, soon muffled, screamed outrage.

Certain of my acquiescence, his gaze returned to my bosom. A finger hooked under my necklace and lifted it out of my robe.

The ring. He was after the Grealseeker ring.

:What is this?: He frowned, holding up the button strung on the chain.

Jasper’s button. The memory of him hit me like an arctic blast.

I grabbed the chain, ducked under his arm and ran. The Grealseeker ring dug into my palm alongside Jasper’s button.  I would not again be deceived by another Tregallas man.

Ladon’s gentle laugh followed me down the laneway. :My brother still protects you, it seems. Farewell, my pretty. I will not be so kind or gentle next time.:

Transcriber’s Note: I picked the title because of the lyrics of a Linda Ronstadt song because there are both broken hearts and warm glows in this one:

Silver threads and golden needles
Cannot mend this heart of mine
And I dare not drown my sorrows
In the warm glow of your mind

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