39: Pity

Chapter 39 of "A River Trembles", Book Two of The Môrdreigiau Chronicles

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The story began in A Grail for Eidothea. You really need to catch up to make sense of A River Trembles. Go on, save this post and go have a binge read. You deserve it.

Llyr had a dream. It’s time to confirm Jasper as part of the Chosen Court. Eidothea’s changed eye startled her father. She shared what’s happened and asked about Ladon Tregallas being her half-brother. Llyr and Jasper are at odds. With her Court’s support, Eidothea touched Jasper’s mark…

The vision repeated as before: the kiss in Sydney Gardens, the fatal embrace aboard ship. I saw us on a hilltop, swords at each other’s throat.

I pressed down on Jasper’s scalp. I would see the rest of it. In the vision Jasper and I moved closer together. The swords slid along our necks, leaving the faintest of cuts on our skin. The scene changed. We stood on a cliff top, hands linked, staring out at the ocean. We both wore crowns. The vision ended.

Llyr bent forward, hands on knees. :By the Lady, I don’t think I can stomach a lifetime of that. Were you hand fasted?: He retched.

Ondine and Cychwr exchanged glances. I felt her concern for both her brother and I.

I braced myself against Jasper’s chair. :I do not wish it either. What do we do?: I stared up at him and then Ondine, my body shuddering.

:Look at it with Maeve’s gift,: Ondine suggested.

:Or maybe the Lady will reveal the truth in a dream tonight,: Llyr thought.

Jasper sat stiff and silent, nursing a drink in cupped hands, staring at the candelabra. His hand shook when he lifted the glass.

I pulled off my makeshift eyepatch and tossed the ribbon onto the table next to the decanter.

Jasper twisted to look at me. He drew back, gasping, with a repulsed expression. “Eidothea, your eye.”

I touched the soft pad of flesh below my affected eye. “Magic,” I murmured. I woke the Grealseeker ring with its spell.

Jasper jerked at the ring’s glow. “You still wear the ring. I see it shine. Is the Greal nearby?”

“Sit up straight please,” I requested, not answering his question. I pulled forward the pinna of his ear. Without my makeshift eyepatch blocking the view, Jasper’s mark twinkled.

I sighed. :It sparkles,: I thought to Llyr and Ondine.

Ondine rose and peered over my shoulder. :It does? I don’t see it.:

:You won’t until he’s bound into the Court,: Llyr muttered, folding his arms.

Ondine pulled a face at her brother. :I know, I know.:

“Well?” Jasper started to pull away. He yelped when I tightened my grip on his ear.

“Stay still,” I told him. :Maeve, can you use my eyes to see Jasper’s mark?:

She spoke, using my vocal cords, but I sounded exactly like her. “Of course. It is the hook of the Fisher King. Ah, matters are perilous indeed.”

Jasper rocketed out of his chair at my gravelly voice, stumbling, nearly falling to get away from me. “What the hell?” He rubbed his ear.

The blood drained from my father’s face and he downed his glass of alcohol.

“It’s Maeve,” Ondine told them. “I didn’t expect her to do that either. We dreigiau môr communicate by thinking.”

“What do you mean by perilous?” Llyr asked. He resumed his seat opposite Jasper’s.

“As I told Eidothea, the last Fisher King was Arthur Pendragon,” Maeve replied flatly. “And we know how well that turned out.”

“He was part of the Chosen Court?” I asked, reclaiming my voice.

“We decided that a human, even one descended from the same ancestors, had no place in a dreigiau môr Chosen Court.” It should not have been possible, but I felt her derision at the decision.

“But you’ve insisted that it’s possible for this man—” Llyr’s repulsion at speaking Jasper’s name flamed along our bond.

“He has dreigiau môr blood.” Maeve fell silent. “Show me the entire vision.”

I shared it with her, choosing not to include Llyr and Ondine. They waited for Maeve to speak again.

Maeve sighed, an airy rasp. “The crowns signify he is the Fisher King and you are the Monarch.”

I frowned. “Are you sure?” Why would the vision show something so obvious?

“You must initiate him into the Court. Urien did not heed my words last time. We decided against it and look where that brought us.”

:But we are holding hands!: I protested in private thought.

Maeve laughed. :It is no romantic act, Eidothea.:

I wished I could be so sure.

:What do we do?: I asked my Court, including Cychwr and Maeve. I collected my makeshift eye patch and returned to my seat.

:I’ve already given my opinion,: Maeve thought. :It’s up to you now.: I felt her presence fade. I glanced at the ring and the glow vanished. I slipped the eyepatch over my head, tugging it into place.

:He’s for the Chosen Court,: Cychwr answered first. :What happens if you don’t?:

:We fail and Llyr’s vision will come true,: Ondine softly put in. She leant against Cychwr, who wrapped an arm about her shoulders.

:Llyr?: I prompted. :You are the Prophet. I will listen to you in this.:

:I cannot—I do not want him in our bound. I do not want to feel what he feels for you. I want to wait.:

:The bond is not as intense with Ondine,: I reminded him.

Jasper set down his emptied glass with a thunk. “Your silence is unsettling.”

Llyr ignored him. :You want to go ahead with it?:

We both felt reluctant. We both felt the tug of the prophecy hanging over our heads. :The healing spell you used on me. That was limited to bonding, yes? Could we use it on him?:

Llyr made a face. :Maeve gave me that. Does it even work Above Sea?:

:Would anyone besides Maeve know?: Having our mentor at our beck and call made me uneasy. The spell could not last forever. :Ondine?:

Her gaze traveled between the two of us and she slowly twirled a lock. :Would it be like when you—:

Llyr stared at me in horror. :No, we absolutely cannot.:

:He will be taught the shielding spell. Maeve said it was only that intense because it was the two of us, monarch and prophet.:

:I could try my healing skills on him,: Ondine offered. :I’ve never done that Above Sea. It’d be good to know if I can.: She met my gaze. :Let me discuss this with Chief Healer Derfel. He knew of Maeve’s healing spell.:

I nodded. :We are not refusing to bond with him. We are merely delaying it until it can be properly done.: I looked around at my Court and each of them nodded their agreement.

I gaze rested upon Jasper who grimaced, turning his ruined face into an ugly mask. He gripped his glass, his knuckles white. “My apologies. Mr. Tregallas, we will not induct you into the Chosen Court today. There is a spell that might heal you. We need to check first to see if it will work—”

“Why would you?” Jasper released his grasp on the glass. “No, absolutely not.”

“Is that a no to joining the Court?” Llyr interjected, bristling.

Jasper shook his head. “Not that. The healing. I do not deserve such mercies, Eidothea. Not after what I did. Maybe once we have averted the world’s cruel fate, should I last that long.”

I sucked in my breath, overwhelmed with pity. “I cannot guarantee a complete healing at a later date.”

Llyr stirred beside me. :Don’t tell me you still have feelings—:

:Pity,: I named it to him.

“Pity,” I repeated to Jasper. “You would be of more use if you were hale and whole.”

Jasper gritted his teeth and struggled to stand, leaning heavily on the back of his chair. “You have changed. I would never have thought you would be so cruel.”

“And I never thought I would have to work with the man who tried to kill me. Forgive me if I am less than kind. I would almost prefer Ladon over you.”

Jasper’s breath hissed, pained. “You know that was an accident.”

But so much else was not. I gave my attention to my plate, refusing to watch him leave. The click of his crutches resounded upon the wooden floor.

Llyr rubbed my upper back. :You still feel the sting of betrayal,: he murmured.

I managed an awkward smile. :I always will.:

:He’ll have to be taught the shielding spell,: Ondine murmured. :I think it best that I do that. I’ll check on the extent of his injuries while I do.:

I nodded. She rose, bowed to my father, and left, Cychwr directly behind her.

:Then we should head back to Caer Morgana today: Llyr said. :The Council will appreciate your early return.:

For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to remain in my old home, to practice the shielding spell with Jasper, and start mending the rift between us. Llyr’s stab of jealousy meant my daydreaming had not gone unnoticed.

Father picked up his knife and fork, attacking the piece of meat in front of him with gusto. “Will you be staying?”

I rose. “We should be on our way. Jasper needs to practice the spell Ondine is teaching him. Do you think you could convince him to accept whatever healing gift we have to offer? It might be a few months before we can return. It’s not very easy for me to escape my duties.”

We made for a silent troupe on our return to Caer Morgana. Once we arrived back in the palace, Ondine announced she would see the Chief Healer immediately and headed off, Cychwr following.

A few days later, Ondine arrived in the dining hall for breakfast, Cychwr in tow. Their besotted exchanges did not go unnoticed or unfelt.

:They will dance this winter solstice,: Llyr murmured to me.

:Something incredible happened!: Ondine bubbled. :Twelve new candidates for healer showed up today!:

I glanced at my dreigiau môr friends. :That’s … unusual?:

:Very,: Ondine assured me. :Before that, we’ve had maybe one every five or so years with minor healing gifts. Every one of these rival my level when I started.:

:Ondine’s the best healer in Caer Morgana,: Cychwr put in. :Her gift has truly blossomed since she became part of the Court.:

I blinked, surprised. Ondine’s healing abilities were among the best in the caer before she was bound. :What about healing Jasper?:

Ondine frowned. :Chief Healer Derfel has a vague recollection of learning about healing in our human state, but couldn’t remember if it applies to humans. He needs to enter a deep meditative state to retrieve the memory. It might take a while.:

Later, I shared Ondine’s news with Rhiannon. I did not see her much even though she continued to sleep in the consort’s bedchamber.

Rhiannon had heard a few young dreigiau môr had applied to be bards, but knew no more. :Let me ask the Chief Bard.:

I waited as she communicated with him.

Her eyes widened. :About five or six applied and all of them have the talent,: she reported.

I took it to the Council and asked them to look into the possible resurgence of the Goddess’ gifts to the dreigiau môr. The reports came back quickly. More dreigiau môr now had the gift to heal, to build, to create, to craft story.

I may have levitated in that meeting, easy enough to of when the atmosphere consists of water.

Chief Bard Amlawdd bowed. :Thank the Lady for the return of the Chosen Court. She has granted us her gifts anew.:

I floated in happiness from that meeting. :Even with Jasper not bound to us,: I told Llyr later, :the Chosen Court still has an effect. We are making a difference. Is this all we need to do to overcome what we have seen?:

:That’s wishful thinking.: The uplift of hope through our bond mitigated his dampening words.

I sighed. :I know, but may I not enjoy this while it lasts?:

On the day of the winter solstice, I headed to the Palace Gardens, troubled by that evening’s tradition. Mother had never told me about it. It seemed bizarre to send children into the sea-dark, when each child was so rare and precious, into the catacombs on the longest night of the year to deliver cakes to the ancestors. Llyr told me it was an essential part of the dreigiau môr traditions but I wasn’t sure that made it right. Thoughts of returning to Jasper and binding him into the court also bothered me.

I went to the solar. Perhaps the warmth would cure the unease that filled my heart.

Llyr hailed me and hurried along the path to reach me. :Why are you here?:

:Taking a break. Have you been in the solar? Are your wounds still bothering you? Is this something I should tell Ondine?:

:Shh.:

I caught his serious mood. :What is it? A dream?:

Llyr took my hand. :I must apologise for thinking I ever thought you and Emrys had coupled.:

My gaze widened and I gently slipped free of his touch. :I thought we already resolved this. Why are you saying that?:

:I’ll show you. Move quietly.:

He led me to the solar, a short distance away. We ducked behind the coral wall that ringed the solar. He peeked over the top and then beckoned me to do the same.

I covered my mouth. Emrys sat on one of the benches, his profile visible. His robe was pulled back, revealing a belly that bulged with faint shadows and iridescent lights moving beneath his skin. Rhiannon knelt at his feet, caressing his distended belly and gazing up into his face.

I watched as he drew her upward for a kiss before Llyr led me away. He pulled me along the path until we returned to the spot we had bumped into each other.

:What did I just see?:

:The male carries the child,: Llyr reminded me. His choice of words made me realise he did not want a gossip current to flow to Emrys.

All of the exchanged looks and smiles, Rhiannon’s frequent absences suddenly made sense.

Emrys and I lived in domestic bliss in our wing of the palace, concerned only with learning more about each other and loving each other and our child.

:It grows cold,: Emrys muttered. I had piled all the blankets we had over him and had joined him in bed as well.

:You can’t go to the spring house, although Eidothea’s on the throne, so does that still matter?:

:It matters. It’s the winter solstice. I will not take attention away from this sacred night.:

:Then the solar?:

Emrys hesitated. In the intervening months, his belly had grown huge. It would not be long before the child emerged.

:Everyone is busy with the preparations,: I coaxed. :They will not notice us.:

Emrys relented. We made our way undetected to the palace gardens and to the solar. Emrys sat on the bench with a heavy sigh, stroking his belly. :Mmm, she likes the warmth.:

I knelt at his feet, loosening his belt so the folds of his robe fell back, revealing his distended pouch. Beneath his skin, magic happened, an oscillation of iridescent lights, the imprint of a hand, then an arm as our child turned and swam within his belly-pouch.

I kissed her through the pouch and gazed up at Emrys in awe. :My heart,: I whispered. :I love you. I love you both.:

He smiled down at me, one of deep satisfaction. He stroked my hair, brushing back the tendrils at my temples. :I love you, Rhi.:

My eyes opened. I stood on a foggy shore, but still dressed in my dreigiau môr robes. I faced Llyr, whose unfocused gaze disconcerted me. My hand lay on his upper arm, touching his birth mark. His hand rested on my chest, just above my bosom, covering my mark.

The fog lifted enough to see hills on the far side of the water. We stood by a lake, not the sea as I first assumed. Llyr’s head turned toward the lake and I followed his gaze.

In the lake’s centre, the waters foamed, casting ripples outward until they lapped at our feet. Llyr sucked in his breath, his gaze traveling to a point behind me.

I wanted to turn but I was afraid. If I broke contact, even in this dreaming land, would we be harmed?

Llyr shuddered. His gaze flicked to me, startled.

I opened my mouth to speak. He shimmered and I experienced a horrible falling sensation.

Some time later, I woke. I asked the light to shine. I rose and went in search of Llyr. I called for him and he left his chamber, meeting me in the hallway.

He blinked at me sleepily, tightening his belt. :Why are you awake? Go back to sleep.:

:Did you dream of a lake?:

I had his full attention. He cupped my face. :I did. You were there. You dreamed it too?:

:The lake boiled in the centre and you gasped. I did not see what you saw.:

:You didn’t see the sword?:

:No.: I shook my head. :Show me what you saw.:

His dream began as mine had. In the lake, he saw a pointed rod of shining metal break the surface, pushing upward. The sword. A feminine pale hand held the hilt. Soon the rest of the woman’s body rose out of the water.

She wore dreigiau môr robes in cream and white. She walked on the lake’s surface. Another woman rose out of the lake to meet her. She received the sword with great ceremony, bowing. This second woman turned and reached the shore behind me.

A man, indistinct in the fog and muffled in cloak, scarf and hat, waited there. He leaned heavily on a cane. He claimed the sword and held it to Llyr.

The dream ended.

:Who was that?: I very much feared it might be Jasper, concealing his face to hide the green scales that popped out in the sea air. We stood by a lake not a sea. Was there another who limped who might be part of our Chosen Court?

:I know what you’re thinking. His figure wasn’t clear enough to say for certain. What about that sword?:

I knew only one story about a lady, a lake and a sword. :It’s Arthur’s sword.:

Llyr’s eyes widened. :Pendragon? The Fisher King?:

:It is a legend Above Sea,: I explained. :His knights returned it to the lake when he died. More than that I do not know. Are we to find the sword?:

:Mm. That was my sense of it. The sword was held out to us to take.:

And that’s a wrap! Obsidian and Flame, a short serial set in Caer Morgana sometime before Eidothea’s story begins, starts next while I finish readying A Sword for Wellington for serialisation. Have I complained enough yet about Eidothea’s handwriting?

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