37: Crown Her With Many Crowns

Chapter 37 of "A River Trembles", Book Two of The Môrdreigiau Chronicles

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The story began in A Grail for Eidothea. You really need to catch up to make sense of A River Trembles. Go on, save this post and go have a binge read. You deserve it.

Maeve magically inserted herself into the Grealseeker ring. The encounter changed Eidothea’s eye. Once Eidothea recovered, Emrys warned her that he is about to abdicate.

Nine days passed in a blur of preparations, Council and Chosen Court meetings, with not a minute for myself, or for anyone else. In that time, many of the attackers had been found, imprisoned and quietly dispatched, to my great horror. The two Tregallas men eluded capture.

Rehearsing the coronation took half the palace, including myself, the Chosen Court, Emrys, and Rhiannon.

I pointed to the heavy gold torc around Emrys’ neck. :Will I be wearing that?: His gills fluttered just above its heavy curve.

Emrys nodded. :This was a Chosen Court tradition first. I will transfer this from my neck to yours. There is also a crown.:

I blinked, attempting an innocent expression. :The one you wore when I was on trial?.:

He winced but did not rise to the bait. :While we were never able to retrieve the Greal, until now, Arthur’s Crown did come back to us.:

:It did? How?:

:There is a longer version, but in short—: Rhiannon began telling the story, her eyes getting that faraway look. :Wales, as it had become known, rebelled against the English. Prince Owain Glyndwr kept connections with shore-dwelling dreigiau môr nearby. When defeat was inevitable, we sheltered the wounded prince, who returned the crown to us at that time. Our rulers have donned it for coronations and judgements ever since.:

:That sounds like a dry history. I’m sure there is a better tale to share?: I prompted. I hoped for a distraction from the endless coronation.

:There is much to do,: thought Emrys in a firm tone.

:Tonight, after we have supped?: I suggested.

Rhiannon and Emrys exchanged glances.

:While we eat?: I wanted to ask about that look. I had just decided to when Rhiannon agreed.

:I will tell the story then,: Rhiannon promised. :Tonight, I will capture the song of the Esteemed’s reign. With his help.:

:I can offer facts and my perspective only,: Emrys said dryly. :Do not expect me to sing.:

I watched them exchange smiles. Their expressions froze. As one, they looked at me, frowning.

:It has been an enjoyable experience,: Emrys offered. :Nothing more.: His tone suggested further inquiry would be unwelcome. :Let us not waste any more time.:

On the day of the coronation, many dreigiau môr volunteered to secure the stone circle’s perimeter, the location of the coronation. The entire caer turned out for the celebrations.

I stood outside the Lady’s circle with the Chosen Court. Ahead, in the circle’s centre, waited Emrys, standing tall and alone.

My heart hurt for him.

Llyr touched my elbow. :Eidothea? Is something amiss with Emrys?:

He and Ondine knew what I felt and who about. Thankfully, Ondine did not experience the intensity of the bond like Llyr and I. Yet for all her bubbly ways, she possessed deep empathy and a hint of strong emotion was more than sufficient for her to intuit the meaning behind our feelings.

I covered Llyr’s hand with mine. :Nothing. He looks tired … and alone.:

The chief steward dashed up to us, bubbling with excitement. :Are we all ready? Please get into position now.: He cast a discerning eye over us and nodded his satisfaction. :I approve of the braids, Your Majesty.:

I smiled, raising an eyebrow. I did not need his approval. I remembered that afternoon. Ondine had decided that floating loose hair was unbecoming for a queen. We had settled on a style where I could weave the braids into a plaited crown on my head, or let them hang free amongst the rest of my hair. It had been a few happy hours of laughter and conversation between, Ondine, Rhiannon and I.

Today, a third of the braids were woven atop my head.

After today, all the responsibility would be on my shoulders, and my shoulders alone. I inhaled, placing a steadying hand over my chest. I exhaled slowly.

Ondine’s arm snaked around my waist. :We’re with you, silly.:

Llyr patted my arm, also feeling all my anxiety. :It’ll go well.:

I looked at them both with teary eyes. Of course I was not alone. I had them.

He winked before he and Ondine hurried into position for the procession. Both of them preceded me. The procession wound its way into the centre of the stone circle.

By the time I reached the stone altar and Emrys, I had regained some equilibrium.

The bards sang, telling stories, all while Emrys and I stood in the centre, waiting and listening to the people’s hopes through the bardic voices. Their white hair glowed in the gentle sealight.

At last, Emrys removed the large gold torc from around his neck. He nodded to me and I stepped forward.

I held still as he placed the torc around my neck. Its heavy weight pressed against my collar bone. The chief steward handed him Arthur’s crown, a gold circlet, and he placed it outside of my woven braids, balancing it just so.

Emrys stepped aside to allow Llyr to fulfil his part. He carried the Greal. He lifted it high over my head. I tracked its progression even though I knew I ought to remain still.

If Llyr noticed, he did not show it. He tipped the Greal, spilling its contents over my head. It ran down my forehead, over my cheeks. I tasted it on my tongue and breathed it in.

I swayed, a moan escaping my lips, lost in the joy of the Goddess. The Greal tumbled out of Llyr’s nerveless fingers, sinking to the ocean floor. I reached out to him and he took my hand. Ondine claimed my other hand. Together, we swayed in perfect communion.

Like a release, the anointing became a gift that caressed our flesh. The magical gift moved outward to the crowd. The entire gathering swayed as one being. I knew them all and they knew me.

The glow faded and we came to ourselves, the cracked megaliths and the sea above dark.

I released Ondine’s hand. Llyr and I turned to each other. His love for me brimmed over, shining on his face and through the golden thread that bound us. I knew he deserved an answer and yet… I did not wish to spoil this moment. With reluctance, I murmured the shielding spell.

His expression shuttered as I quieted our connection.

The chief steward intruded with a thought from the sidelines. :Ah, Majesty. Your people await.:

The three of us went to the periphery of the stone circle. Some dreigiau môr were awestruck by what we had experience and wanted only to hold my hand. Others bowed.

My life had irrevocably changed. I was also no longer alone. Llyr and Ondine, Cychwr and Ceridwy, Elin and Maeve, even Emrys and Rhiannon. We had become a whole new family.

I thought of my father. How I wished he could see that at last I had found my place in the world.

I thought of Jasper… and saw Llyr’s smile freeze. I banished that memory. Not tonight.

Musicians struck up a rousing tune, one to inspire laughter and giddiness. Llyr and I led the dancers onto the plateau. I looked for Ondine and spotted her dancing with Cychwr. They touched whenever, wherever possible, their bodies pressing against each other again and again.

:Ondine is … not too young is she?: Llyr and I danced like two siblings at a wedding, our arms stiff.

:She’s my baby sister, but she is not that young. She’s really matured these last six months. Adulthood comes suddenly upon we dreigiau môr.:

We danced, we ate and drank, and received many compliments and honours during an exhaustive round of toasting. I tried to keep my sips to a minimum but one by one my inhibitions faded. I leaned against Llyr, beaming beatifically at everyone and laughing at everyone’s jokes.

The musicians resumed playing, a raucous tune. The plateau was cleared and dancers filled the space.

I staggered to my feet and swayed. :I cannot dance.: I told the chief steward, although my foot tapped to the rhythm. :I will make a fool of myself.:

:Sit and watch, Majesty,: he advised. :Enjoy this night.:

I sat down abruptly next to Llyr. :We do not need to dance.: I pushed my goblet away from me.

His arm went about my shoulders. :I’ll get you back to the palace,: he murmured, tapping the tip of my nose.

I blinked up at him. :Mmm. There will be a whole procession after.:

:Shorter than before.: He pointed at Ondine and Cychwr dancing, intent on each other.

I swiveled to Llyr. :Is that what I am feeling?: I muttered the shielding spell.

He laughed. :As her brother, it feels … weird.: I sensed him activating the shielding spell. I watched the young couple, delighted that my Healer had claimed her sailor.

I do not know how I got through the day. Emrys moved out of the state chambers before I woke. Rhiannon and I moved across the hall. I suggested Rhiannon claim the consort’s bedroom. Having next to no belongings made for a swift relocation.

I spent the day ensconced in meetings, establishing myself as Monarch with the Council and staff, who were long used to Emrys’ authority. I met with everyone and as evening drew on, I was ready to collapse.

The Chosen Court met in a room nearest our chambers. We dubbed it “Court Hall”.

:You look exhausted,: Ondine said once we had each summarised our day. Llyr yawned. :Why don’t you go and rest?: Llyr began to protest. :You both may be healed but you still need recovery time. The Greal is not that magical.:

Eyeing the pouch slung at Llyr’s side, I remarked. :It is no cure for endless meetings. I have been stuck inside all day. I think a walk would be nice. Will you all join me?:

We strolled through the palace gardens. Ondine and Cychwr went on ahead while Llyr and I lingered behind them. We remained silent. I let the beauty of the gardens soak into me, even as a rising bubble of thought swelled within.

Ondine looked over her shoulder at us at the same time as Llyr asked: :What’s wrong?:

:There’s nothing wrong exactly.: I gestured to a stone bench. :Let us sit.:

We did so. I saw Ondine nod and resume walking arm in arm with Cychwr.

:She is truly happy, do you not think so?: I asked, gazing after them.

:She is. Cychwr steadies her and … they protect each other, I think.:

I turned and faced him. :Llyr, I want that for you. That happiness.:

:Why are you sorrowful?: The bond betrayed me. :Why are you not … oh.: Llyr refused to meet my gaze, settling for staring up at the caer’s membrane.

I folded my hands into my lap. :I cannot love you the way you deserve to be loved, Llyr. I have thought about surrendering to all I feel from you, but that would mean ignoring my own heart and—:

:The love I feel from you. It’s for Jasper? How? He betrayed you.:

:I know.: I told him, finally, about Jasper’s misguided but well-intentioned plan, and how it had dramatically failed. :He wanted to save me from Ladon. He did not reckon on—:

:He held a knife to you.: I heard his icy anger and felt it. :That is unforgivable.:

:It was not meant for me,: I murmured. :I hated him as much as you at first, but while there are inklings of love still, it would not be right—:

:You will become his lover again?: Llyr’s eyes squeezed shut.

:We never went that far,: I gently chastised. :I do not know if there is a future for he and I, beyond his place in the Chosen Court. He did not trust me and he did plan to steal the Greal from me. That’s still betrayal, Llyr. I do not know if I can forgive him for that, or love him again.:

Llyr bowed his head, staring at his hands. :I can’t change how I feel about you, Eidothea. I’ve loved you for a long, long time.:

:I wish I knew how to make this easier for you, but—: I took a steadying breath. :But I know that I need you, Llyr. I need you not just as a prophet, but as a friend, a confidante. You are someone I do trust. I do not think that is, or should be, enough for you.:

:It won’t be.:

:Can you bear it?:

His gaze lifted, meeting my concerned gaze. He reached out and gathered my hand into his. :I haven’t done a good job of bearing it until recently. But I will bear it. For you, Eidothea, and to save the world, but most of all for you.:

He coughed, straightening. I looked over my shoulder to see Ondine and Cychwr retrace their steps to us.

Ondine knelt at our feet. :I don’t know what you two are talking about, but I’ll hazard a guess.: She did not name it but I felt her concern radiating down our bond. :The mending of broken hearts, both of yours, isn’t something to be borne alone. Llyr, I will help however I can, and Eidothea…: She turned to me. :There’s affection in your heart for my brother and it’s like my own.: She reached up and took my hand, the other still in Llyr’s grasp. :You are not alone, Eidothea. We are bound together. We are family now.:

:Family.: The simple yet complicated love that flowed from the two of them and from me to them seemed like impossible magic. I belonged here with them. :I do not think I will ever feel alone again.: Tears rose. :You do not know what a gift this is.:

:I do.: Llyr squeezed my hand. :I shouldn’t be grateful that you experience the same nightmares, but I am glad you are here with me, with us.: I leaned against him, and Ondine squeezed in on the other side of her brother, hugging his shoulders.

:This is a very pretty picture,: Cychwr remarked. :But what on earth is going on?:

Ondine leapt up and threaded her arm through his. :I’ll explain it to you later.: She encouraged him to follow her back into the palace.

I rose and pulled Llyr up to stand beside me. :Maybe,: I thought, :now that we have been honest with each other. Maybe now the visions will return.:

Llyr started. :How did you know they haven’t?:

I arched an eyebrow. :Would you not have told me if they had?:

He nodded, a bit glumly.

I nudged my shoulder against his. :We are in this together, Llyr ap Peredur. Those visions will come.:

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