30: Broken and Wrecked

Chapter 30 of "A River Trembles", Book Two of The Môrdreigiau Chronicles

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The story began in A Grail for Eidothea. You really need to catch up to make sense of A River Trembles. Go on, save this post and go have a binge read. You deserve it.

Llyr began his recovery but wanted to hide how much recovering he needs from Eidothea. Rhiannon revealed Gorawyn’s murderer to Emrys.

I had not long left Ceridwy’s residence when Ondine’s thought cut into my self-pitying musings. :Eidothea! Can you feel Llyr?:

I halted and immediately felt him in my awareness. :Yes. Is something wrong?:

:He fainted.:

I dashed back into the house. I found Cychwr carrying Llyr up the stairs to his bedchamber. I fell in behind him. One of Llyr’s braids dangled over Cychwr’s arms, swinging choppily.

We entered the bedchamber and Ondine was already at work, laying out fresh bandages and other items. I didn’t spare her more than a glance.

Cychwr settled Llyr onto the bed. I straightened his robe before reaching for the coverlet.

Ondine stayed my hand. :Let me examine him first. This fainting is new.:

I stood back, next to Cychwr, and watched Ondine examine her brother. She must have reached out to other healers because a handful of them entered. Cychwr and I took another step back toward the wall to give them room.

One interminable wait later and Llyr opened his eyes. Ondine gave a joyous cry, slumping when his eyes closed again. My heart rose and fell with hers.

A healer checked his pulse. :The danger is over. He sleeps.:

My legs wobbled. Cychwr caught my arm. I nodded my thanks, leaning on him.

:Too much exertion,: opined another. :This will be a slow healing. You mustn’t push his limits too soon or else he’ll relapse. No visitors.: The healer glanced at Cychwr and I when she said this.

:Cychwr helps with his exercises,: Ondine said.

I blinked in surprise. He needed that much help? :He’s my prophet.: Folding my arms, I advanced toward Llyr’s bed. :I will sit with him now for a little while before I leave.: I flashed an annoyed look at Ondine. :He is much worse than you made it seem.:

:He wanted it that way.: Ondine focused on her brother. :I’ve never witnessed an injury like this before. It’s like his mind…:

:It’s like a concussion,: the oldest healer said, her wrinkles set deep in her skin. :Not unheard of. He needs quiet and time.:

I sat, resting my hand over his where it lay still at his side. He didn’t wake. I stared at his face, wishing him swift healing. It hurt to not know when I would be permitted to see him again. It hurt to see Llyr so weak, so broken. He lay there in handsome perfection, his disability hidden unlike Jasper’s shattered body.

Jasper. I had my answer from Maeve but it would be some time before Llyr would be well enough to join me on that return voyage to my Father’s house, and that only after I weathered the storm which broaching the subject of Jasper would undoubtedly engender.

Through our bond, I felt his concern. I reassured him we were both safe, that all was well. He just needed to heal.

After a few hours, I quit his bedside. With the approaching night, the Esteemed had sent a guard to escort me back to the palace.

:The Esteemed would like to see you.: The chief steward hovered at the door, having come to deliver the message personally.

I looked up from reassuring Eidothea that Llyr would recover from yesterday’s setback. After patting Eidothea on the shoulder, I rose, following the chief steward.

Emrys sat in one of the salons, at a window overlooking the gardens. I sat. He offered me a mild-tasting mead. The drink held none of the potency of that summer solstice brew but the taste brought back memories.

:I send Angharad and Edryd to the Goddess tomorrow,: Emrys said.

:Exile.: The worst penalty a draig môr faces is isolation from others of their kind. They would be banished to the open ocean—and every dreigiau môr would not speak to them or help them.

:Angharad has relied on many to live as she is accustomed. It will be … difficult for her.:

Difficult? At least she was alive. Unlike Gorawyn. He looked sidelong at me. I struggled to understand his sympathy for his wicked sister.

:You need to let her go, Rhiannon. Gorawyn, I mean. Justice hasn’t brought her back.:

I recoiled, covering my mouth, hiding the sob that burst forth unexpectedly. :How can you be so calm about this?:

Emrys downed his glass. :I’m not. I’m a wreck. I know you wish my sister dead but leading as a monarch means difficult decisions.: Emrys put down his glass. :No other could decide this but me.:

I couldn’t look away from the grief etched on his face. How much of that pain had I caused? :I’m sorry,: I blurted, leaning forward.

He met me halfway, our foreheads touching. Our hands clasped, gripping hard as if a rip tide threatened to tear us apart. The water between us became even saltier with our tears.

Eventually, first his grief then mine subsided, but we remained in the same position, our grip softening. His thumbs brushed over the back of my hands before letting them go. We looked at each other.

I cupped his face, using my thumbs to wipe away the teardrops clinging to his cheeks. :Emrys, I thought this would end the pain for us.:

He grimaced, pulling free and turning to stare out at the gardens, hands clenched at his knees. :You should go.: His grey eyes glittered as he looked at me. :I plan to drink myself into oblivion. You can stay or go, but if you stay…:

Every part of me yearned to stay. I stood, patting him on the shoulder. :I will leave you to it.:

His hand caught at my sleeve. :Rhi—:

I bent over, kissed his forehead. I straightened, stroking his hair, so deliciously soft and silken. :I don’t want to leave, Emrys, but the last time we were drunk…: I didn’t need to say it.

I slipped free of his loose embrace and made my escape.

The days turned into weeks. Whenever I had time to rest, I focused on my bond with Llyr, making sure he knew without words that I wished for his healing, that I wished to stand at his side again.

I told Maeve of my actions and she approved. :As long as you are honest, you are strengthening and restoring the bond between you. It has suffered ever since you were bound.:

In the meantime, my intensive education continued. Maeve taught me spells reserved for the Chosen Court usage and other matters I needed to know about as Monarch. Emrys remained implacable in his refusal to co-rule with me and in allowing Angharad to languish in the dungeon, instead increasing the number of his lessons in politics.

:Eidothea, I’ve decided on a date,: Llyr’s words came clipped. :The last full moon in August. The days will be longer and the full moon will make the night time journey easier for those who live far from Caer Morgana.:

I hadn’t seen him since the day he fainted. :You are well?:

:Mending. I will be well enough for the Great Examination.:

:Does this mean I can visit?:

:I will come to see you,: Llyr promised.

The nerves would not settle. I patted my stomach, which caught Emrys’ eye. We stood with Rhiannon at the palace’s private gate which led to the ocean. We waited for our cue to the join the other dreigiau môr.

:Nervous?: Emrys asked. :It will go as it will.:

I nodded. I’d be seeing Llyr for the first time since he fainted. He already waited out in the ocean. Through our bond, I had tracked his slow sojourn to a space outside the city. Llyr would deny it but I felt his weariness and aches as though they were my own. He hadn’t yet fully healed. I hoped we had not acted too hastily in proceeding with the Great Examination.

At last we received the signal. One by one, we passed through the gate, transforming into dreigiau môr. Guards bristled on the ocean side of the gate. Nobody wanted this important day disrupted.

We paraded along the ocean path marked by palace staff and then ordinary citizens. They fell in behind Emrys and I.

As we swam, I cast a glance sidelong at Emrys. His deep purple scales sparkled with gold. His gold-tipped whiskers undulated about his face. His belly pouched with age.

Emrys noticed my examination almost at once. His smile faded when he saw my gaze had traveled to his midsection. :It’s that noticeable?: Emry’s arms and legs paddled, creating a small screen of bubbles.

:Emrys?: Now he worried me. Was he ill?:

:Later,: he promised.

When we arrived at the place chosen for the Great Examination, he settled upon a rock that gave him a great view of the proceedings, coiling about himself. Rhiannon sat near but not too close to him, casting concerned looks in his direction. She had noticed too.

I floated down to join Llyr on the basin floor. The rocky hilltops surrounding us filled with dreigiau môr. Those eligible for a place in the Chosen Court, being of Llyr’s age or younger, gathered at the far end of the oval. I wondered if any other than Ondine would have a Chosen birthmark.

Cychwr hovered next to Llyr, who wearily lifted his head at my approach.

:We will have them come to us,: I decided. :Cychwr, have them show every part of their skin. A slow full rotation. We need only see, with Maeve to confirm she cannot see them.:

Llyr blinked. :Of course you know.:

:Of course I do. It is why you left Caer Morgana so early so you could rest before everyone arrived.: I looked over his head at Cychwr. :Should you not be with Ondine and the others?:

Cychwr tossed his green mane. :Neither of you found a mark, so I don’t need to join them.:

:To keep Ondine company?: I pressed.

Maeve swam down to join us. :Are you ready?: She fixed Llyr with a stern look. :Llyr?:

:I’m fine.: Llyr grumbled. One did not need the Chosen Court’s bond to see he lied. His tail and whiskers drooped and scars riddled his beautiful, scaled body.

:Let us not delay.: I raised my arms and the candidates swam forward.

One by one we examined them, without success. Ondine hung back. When her turn came, both Llyr and I spotted her mark just below her mane. Llyr and I activated our bond, our Chosen Marks flaring ice-blue. For just a few heartbeats, Ondine’s mark flared in response before returning to the wine-red mark that only Llyr and I could see.

The crowd sighed in wonder. Ondine joined us, slipping between Llyr and I to check on her brother’s health.

Ladon swam forward. I sighed. Being older than I but born in the same year, he was eligible for the Chosen Court.

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