28: The Gossip Current

Chapter 28 of "A River Trembles", Book Two of The Môrdreigiau Chronicles

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The story began in A Grail for Eidothea. You really need to catch up to make sense of A River Trembles. Go on, save this post and go have a binge read. You deserve it.

Eidothea met with Maeve and they talked about Jasper’s part in the Chosen Court. Rhiannon met with a botanist to determine what plants used to be in the strange garden she found. Emrys, Rhiannon and Eidothea go to the solar for some restorative warmth. Emrys has a confession to make…

Rhiannon took one look at his face and I sensed a silent communication between then. She nodded, hands clasped before her, and wandered to look at the corals at the far end of the solar. I sat attentively, trying to plumb his smooth expression. His hands clenched upon his knees.

:I spoke with someone yesterday who had been in the Great Hall at our trial,: he began. I sensed he included Rhiannon in the conversation, although he’d sought privacy for the two of us. :She—she had concerns about us.:

:Us?: I frowned, puzzled. :What do you mean?:

:Let me show you.: He sent me the memory the woman had shared with him. In that memory, Emrys shouldered me out of the way, taking the hit meant for me, and I screamed his name, horror writ plain on my face. :She asked if I had feelings for you.:

My mouth dropped open. :What did you tell her?:

I saw Rhiannon turn toward us, wide-eyed.

:She didn’t wait for my answer because she also wanted to know if I knew you had feelings for me.: Emrys said in a low, even thought. Did he feel as mortified as I did about this conversation topic?

:For you?: I sat back, hands clutched in my lap. I recalled the terror of his weight upon me, of fretting afterward. :Would not any woman scream like that?:

Emrys’ lips twisted. :You know my gift is discerning truth.:

:It’s quite annoying.: I sighed, rolling my eyes. :I admire you. I like you, Emrys. It has taken me a long time to figure it out, but…: I struggled to find the right words. :My heart is quite battered. I seem not to have given up on him yet.:

He did not need to ask who. He looked away, catching Rhiannon’s eye. When he faced me again, his features had smoothed into an unreadable calm.

:Emrys, you wanted the truth. As for what that person saw… I have lost too many already, or thought I had rather, and I was not ready to have another person’s death be my fault. And…: I ducked my head. :If I am completely honest, I am terrified to rule Caer Morgana without you. But I could not comprehend that you would actually sacrifice yourself for me.:

Emrys leant back. :It is what any subject ought to do for their Queen.:

I grimaced. :Emrys, you matter. Rhiannon matters too. I do not wish to lose anyone.:

Rhiannon drifted forward and sat next to me, her arm lying companionably against mine. :Loss is inevitable, Eidothea.:

I inclined my head in acknowledgement. :I do not mean to like it.:

We sat in silence for a while. The idea that anyone would sacrifice themselves for me was abhorrent, even though it felt like I sacrificed myself, my freedom to choose, by answering the call of Llyr’s vision. How was I expected to do this alone? Aside from Maeve, the rest of the Chosen Court was also inexperienced.

:I am not capable of this. There has to be some way we can continue to work together.:

He straightened, slipping into his formal role as Esteemed. :You are more than capable. I won’t be king. You will be queen.:

:What if … what if you remained as the Esteemed. Maybe as the new head of the Council?:

Emrys barked a wry laugh. :You cannot wriggle out of it, Eidothea. The Chosen Court is your calling. Caer Morgana is yours to rule.:

:And being the Esteemed is your calling! We can work out the details—:

:No.: His thought landed heavy.

I slipped to my knees before him. I never thought I would beg but fear and desperation had won out. I did not care how it looked in front of Rhiannon. I caught her aghast expression in a sideways glance. :I cannot force you—but you and I, we are the ones who make the rules. We can figure this out—:

:No.:

:But—:

Emrys swung his legs up and laid down on the bench. His eyes closed. :I won’t make you kneel there. Go enjoy the heat, Eidothea. I will consider what you have said.:

I rose, choosing a bench nearby and lay down, closing my eyes. My swirling thoughts would not let me relax. I did not understand why it all had to be a certain way. Why couldn’t both Emrys and I rule as a nod to the generations that had lived without a Chosen Court?

I dozed, the heat lulling me to sleep. The sensation crept up on me without warning. My limbs felt heavy and restless. Was it too hot in the solar? I wriggled, feeling heat spread throughout my body, building between my hips.

I gasped. I tried to open my eyes, but failed. I recognised this: the heat, the desire, the longing… I writhed, stuttering the shielding spell. The desire faded to a not unpleasant buzz.

I sat up, my gills working hard. Through heavy-lidded eyes I saw Emrys and Rhiannon staring. Their robes lay open, to receive more of the warmth. I tore away my gaze from Emrys’ exposed chest. :Llyr is awake,: I managed, :and unshielded. I should go.:

:Your robe,: Rhiannon murmured.

I looked down. It gaped open like his. I gasped, wrapping my robe tightly around my too sensitive skin. Rising, my legs went weak. Emrys started forward to catch me. I held him off with a hand. :No,: I said. :Do not touch me. I—I am not in control just yet.:

I stumbled away, out of the solar, and toward the palace. My legs gave way. I sank down onto the path, frantically repeating the shielding spell until the passion subsided.

A steadying breath, then two, and I resumed my retreat to the palace. On the way, I contacted Ondine. :I feel him again and he’s unshielded. It is … it is like the first time—:

:He hasn’t woken up yet.: Ondine understood and her bubbling excitement sounded clear in her thought. :You can sense him now? That is great news.:

:I will keep shielding myself. It will not help if he wakes in an … um, aroused state.:

I swear I heard Ondine gulp. :Not sure I wanted to hear that either. Thank you. Do not leave the palace yet. I will send word.:

The idea of blocking Llyr completely was abhorrent to me. Instead, back in my bedchamber, I curled up on my bed, intent on dulling the sensations for both of us.

The tumult settled, I sagged against the pillows in relief. Llyr would wake soon. I allowed myself to relieve the moment in the solar when I felt him. I saw his love for me ran deep, but more than that… I released a shaky breath. His absence had nearly undone me and now he had returned from the brink of death. Our Chosen Court had gained another chance of success. I vowed not to be at odds with Llyr ever again. Would he forgive me for loving someone else?

I hugged my knees, wanting to hug Llyr, to see for myself that he was well again. I would even be happy to see him scowl.

Eidothea’s moans stirred me from my doze. I sat up to see her writhe upon the hard bench, her back arching.

Emrys swung upright, took one look and turned toward me, his eyes imploring me to do something.

Before I could move to wake her, Eidothea bolted upright. :Llyr is awake. I should go.:

I gestured to her robe, knowing she would see the loosened robe as immodest and be embarrassed. :Your robe.:

Her face red, she pulled it shut. Standing, she staggered. Emrys dove to her aid. She refused him and stumbled away.

:I should go after her.: I rose, already moving forward.

:Wait.:

I stilled at his command. My heart pounded. To witness another’s arousal like that brought back memories of that night with Emrys. My hands smoothed down the front of my robe, bringing the edges together. I wanted to be away before I betrayed myself and—

Behind me, I heard Emrys rise, felt the water stir as he approached. His hands came down on my shoulders, turning me and dragging me into an embrace. I struggled momentarily before surrendering, sinking into him, holding him tight.

His heart pounded like mine for all that he felt like marble. His breath came quick, like mine. Did he want me as I wanted him?

His fingers dug into my arms as he pried me away. :I wish you loved me like that.:

Shame pricked at the corners of my eyes. :She doesn’t love Llyr.:

:I wasn’t talking about her.: Emrys turned and stalked back to his bench. :I am no longer in need of company. You may go.:

:Emrys…: For a bard, it’s mortifying to be unable to find words, but the only one that came to my mind was his name.

He paused. :Yes? Is there to be a confession of love, Rhiannon?:

I shook my head. I didn’t like how cold he sounded. I could never love someone like that. I desired him but I wouldn’t tell him that either.

:Then I don’t want to hear it.: He stood rigid in front of the bench.

:But—:

:Go. I command you.:

Tell me what happened when you regained consciousness after the attack. You kept Eidothea at a distance. Why?

I first became conscious of a comforting, yet concerned presence. My mind felt woolly. Unable to form words, let alone thoughts. I could not name the one who connected to my mind, but I felt an overwhelming love.

Desire welled. She met it with astonished joy and her own longing. I moaned and it sounded like a far off roar.

Exploring our connection, I probed its edges, looking for a way to unite with her, to fall deep into her, to become one. My name and who I was did not mater.

My name….

Her light dimmed. I sensed her retreat, the way between us cloaking in fog. A golden strand ran between us, binding us. The golden thread emanated from my chest through clumps of twisted scar tissue. I noticed a silvery blue light twinkle along this thread.

This binding had hurt deeply… but why? I wished I could remember.

Love pulsed down this thread, calling me to return and gather my scattered self. She had been calling for a long, long time.

:Llyr, Llyr, you must wake up.: The voice sounded faint and familiar.

Llyr … that was my name. The one who spoke… Eidothea?

The one who betrayed me.

I woke with a gasp.

Ondine and Mother’s faces hovered over mine. I closed my eyes.

:Llyr?: My sister’s voice. Someone tapped my shoulders. :Llyr?:

I blinked several times. It hadn’t been Eidothea’s thought I’d heard at all. :Ondine? Mother?:

Mother fell upon me with a cry, expelling the air from my lungs. I tried to move her but my arms held no strength.

:Ondine, what’s the matter with me?:

With alacrity, Ondine ordered Mother to stand aside. She put me through a cascade of mini trials, many of which should have been easy. I twitched fingers, toes and various muscle groups until she couldn’t think of another test. The small effort exhausted me.

:What’s the last thing you remember?: she asked.

Was there life before this? But there must have been. Eidothea. Her choosing to love another. My queen. An image popped into my mind. Eidothea, her purple-scaled draig môr form with Cychwr next to her, swimming toward me. I sent it to Ondine.

:You may never remember what happened. Would you like to know?:

I shook my head, making a dent in the pillow. :It will come back to me. Eidothea?: I struggled to sit up. A burning pain lanced my chest and abdomen. I fell back, surprised.

:Do you want to see her? She’s been waiting…:

I knew she had. I grabbed Ondine’s hand. That much I could do. :No, she can’t see me like this. When will I regain my strength?:

:I don’t know how long it will take,: Ondine told me, smoothing the covers over my chest. :The healers haven’t seen a case like yours before. I’m not sure how long Eidothea will be willing to wait.: She tilted her head. Someone spoke to her. :She knows you’re awake. You should let her know you’ll be fine.:

:I will be?:

:If you work at it.: I expected Ondine’s light-hearted teasing, but it fell flat.

For the first time since I woke, I really saw my sister. She did not shine as she normally did. She seemed gray and tired. :Ondine, are you well?: I included Mother in the thought.

Mother gave Ondine a sharp look. :She’s been working unceasingly to bring you back. It’s been days. Ondine, go rest.:

My sister bowed her head, shoulders drooping. :Maeve has been asking after you as well.: She glanced at Mother. :I’ll leave him with you. Small meals to begin with, like porridge. Perhaps one visitor.:

:Delay Eidothea,: came Mother’s advice. :You need to meet with Maeve first, gain her favour.:

I groaned. :In this state? They can both wait until tomorrow.: My brain caught up. :She’s not dead?:

:Let me catch you up…: My mother related the broad outlines of the attack and the following interment, ending with the trial and Emrys taking a deadly blast meant for Eidothea.

By the end of it, I reeled. :Eidothea? You’re sure she’s unhurt?:

My mother huffed a sigh. :Ask her.:

So much had happened. And Eidothea… had she given her heart to another? Again?

:I ca—: I broke off, realising that I felt Eidothea’s presence, her emotions, all without the barrier I had erected. I sensed she shielded from me but only to dampen the intensity of our connection. :I will,: I told my mother. :Ondine mentioned porridge?:

She hastened from the room. I closed my eyes and reached out. :Eidothea.:

You will have to wait until next week (unless you’re currently bingeing this) to see how Eidothea’s and Llyr’s reunion goes. Thoughts about today’s instalment? Comments? Share below or join the Chat!

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