19: Confession

Chapter 19 of "A River Trembles", Book Two of The Môrdreigiau Chronicles

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The story began in A Grail for Eidothea. You really need to catch up to make sense of A River Trembles. Go on, save this post and go have a binge read. You deserve it.

Llyr’s the only one to have an allergic reaction to the spiked solstice potion. Nothing happened between Eidothea and Emrys, but a lot happened between Emrys and Rhiannon resulting in awkwardness the following day. Eidothea decided to confirm whether Jasper is alive or dead. She can’t stand not knowing.

Two days later, we made the trip. I swam between Emrys and Rhiannon. The golden torc around his neck rested easily over his shimmery dark purple scales. To describe Rhiannon’s scales as pink would be over-simplifying. They were opalescent with an iridescent greenish sheen.

Along the way, Rhiannon provided another history lesson. Around us, in all directions, swam the Esteemed’s personal guards. Above and below, they scanned the clear ocean waters for possible danger. We slowly ascended to sea level.

At last, the cliffs below my home came into sight. We bobbed in the waves, becoming human once our heads broke the surface.

:We will come ashore with you,: Emrys said, scanning the shoreline and the cliff tops. :I will greet your father and then Rhiannon and I have business of our own.:

I started at that. :You do?:

:Some history I wish to show her. She will need it for her song about my reign. It’s not far from here.:

Once the guards had checked the security of beach and cave, we came ashore. I looked ahead, not willing to see either Emrys or Rhiannon naked. Above Sea, all the human rules came roaring back in force.

I found the pile of clothes where Llyr and I had left them. They smelt musty and felt damp but they would do for returning to the house. I sensed their amusement as I blindly handed them clothing before dressing with my back to them.

When I turned, Rhiannon stood in a white confection of nightgown and robe, the only other clothing I had besides what I had donned. Emrys wore the clothes I had set aside for Llyr: a worn shirt, a hole showing at the collar, and breeches, with holes in the knees.

“It is not fitting attire for an Esteemed.” I coughed, clearing my throat.

Rhiannon scanned Emrys. “It shows off his form very well.” She blushed, her hand going over her mouth.

He chuckled, his cheeks pinking also. “Not every thought needs to be said Above Sea,” he gently reproved. To me, he added, “How do we reach your house from here?”

We ascended through the winding rock-lined tunnel, stepping out into the hall by the kitchen. I heard Cook bustling inside. Barefoot, we padded down the hall and slipped into the study unobserved.

Father looked up, startled. He dropped his quill. “Eidothea! I feared the worst!” A smile burst over his face. He hurried to me and engulfed me in a hug. I heard him sniffle. “Oh my girl. I thought I would never see you again.”

I held on tight until he shifted. I stepped back, seeing him stare at my two companions. I took his hands in mine, recapturing his attention. “Father, Jasper Tregallas. Does he live?”

“If you can call it that.” He grimaced, his eyebrows rising, the corners of his mouth downturned. “I hope you forgive me for taking him in.”

“He’s here? In this house? Why would I need to forgive— you know?” Relief at the prospect of not having to retell the whole sordid story released the tension in my shoulders and they sagged.

“He confessed one night while sotted with drink and laudanum. He wrote it down too. There’s an envelope…” Father returned to his desk to look for it.

“Laudanum? He’s an addict?” Panic rose. What if he were incapable of being of any use to the Chosen Court? What if we were too late and he was beyond help? Beyond even recognising me?

Emrys laid a hand on my shoulder and I steadied. Rhiannon rubbed my upper back.

Father took in their actions. “Who are these people?”

His practical question dispelled my fears. I made the introductions.  “This is the Esteemed, Emrys ap Cynfelyn, current ruler of the dreigiau môr.”

Emrys bowed. “Not for much longer. Your daughter will soon succeed me.”

“Succeed? What?” Father blinked at him and then at me. “Are you not the prophet?”

“He knows?!” both Emrys and Rhiannon blurted.

“Is there any secret you can keep?” Emrys added, sarcasm lacing his voice.

I made a face. “He is my father. He is trustworthy.” I gestured to Rhiannon. “Father, this is Rhiannon Grealseeker, bard. She is my tutor. My role in the Chosen Court changed, Father. Or rather, it has always been so and I was unaware of my true status.”

Father looked at Emrys, then Rhiannon, and back again. “I have many questions. If you both do not mind, I will speak to my daughter privately. Please wait outside.”

“Father—” I warned, gesturing he stop talking. “You cannot say that to a king!”

He frowned. “He’s not my king.” He bowed his head. “Forgive me, we have much to discuss.”

Emrys seemed unfazed by the rudeness. “Naturally. I will remind Eidothea, in your presence, that she made a promise to return with us once she had her answers.”

I bowed my head.

“Is this true, child?” Father’s voice held much fear.

“It is. It is to save the world.” I glanced over my shoulder at Emrys. “I will not leave until I have checked him for the Chosen Mark.”

“Him…” Again, Father was at a loss for words.

“I will locate this Jasper for you.” Emrys murmured.

I looked at him, worried. I had asked enough of him already. “There is no need—”

“I will see him for myself. I assume he’s in this dwelling or just outside? We will return before the sun sets.” Emrys sketched a bow toward my father. I watched him leave, Rhiannon following close behind.

Facing my father, I asked, “First, why did you take him in?”

“Come and sit down.” He retreated to his desk and pulled out a thick envelope from the drawer. “At first I had no idea. I had your note — and you were gone.”

Tears welled. He had believed I had made it back to Mother’s home.

“Tregallas beat him within an inch of his life, allowed him to recover, and then turned him out, setting his ruffians upon him. I found him in a ditch.”

“But then he let slip—”

“Oh, I knew something was amiss. When he regained consciousness, he could never meet my gaze.”

“Why did you not turn him out of doors?” I asked Father.

“You will find him much altered, daughter. I should have done that, but…he too held hope you would return, although I could not say whether he held it for my sake or his own.” He sighed. “But he not only confessed his crime but what drove him to it. I found grace for him there, assuming he wrote the truth.” He tossed the envelope toward me. “Read it for yourself.”

If only I could undo what I have done. If I had been more careful. If it had not been for… All the ifs taunt me. Perhaps in writing it down, the pain will lessen. I have no hope of becoming numb to it, nor do I wish that. I deserve this burden.

When I entered my cabin aboard the Westerly, Ladon lounged on the bunk, waiting for me. “You have one last chance, brother,” he drawled. “Or I take her myself.”

I resisted the urge to punch him. Maybe I could talk my way out of this. “What do you mean? I am following Father’s plan. Why are you disobeying him again?”

Ladon uncrossed his legs, sitting up. “Plans change. He knows you are looking for the Greal. That you may even have found it. He’s a little concerned that you have switched allegiances.”

“I know he knows. I told him.” I had not expected word to reach Father quite so swiftly. “We failed in Bath. It is why we plan to honeymoon in Wells. Once the Greal is found, I will deliver it to our father and —”

Ladon rose, taking his time, and stalked toward me. “If only your protestations were convincing. The girl is keeping something on her person at all times. So the latest report reads.”

I knew then that someone on her uncle’s staff had betrayed us.

“I will take the girl, and take the Greal,” Ladon continued. “It will be my greatest pleasure to ravish her, destroy her, and take that which she most treasures. Her reputation? No. The Greal? Yes, but also her life.” He rubbed his hands together. “I am filled with delicious anticipation.”

“You—you cannot.” Terror took hold of my heart and lungs. My ears rang in warning. I tried bargaining. “Father does not care about the girl. Leave her be.”

Ladon’s eyebrow rose. “Ah, so she does have the Greal? Thank you for that, brother.”

I cursed my misstep. “I will get you the Greal. You will get all the credit—”

“—but none of the fun? You will have to move quickly, brother. I will not wait long. You have until tomorrow morning to bring it to me.”

He moved to pass me and I rushed him, pinning him against the wooden slats of the wall. “Do not touch her,” I growled.

Ladon pushed me off and caught me with a roundhouse. I slumped, stunned. When I gathered my senses, he had gone.

I knew I had to act fast. Night would fall soon. Ladon might wait until night cloaked his movements, but knowing him, he would try for her before my time was up. Night would be my only opportunity because I did not dare risk a sailor’s superstition if they spotted my green scaly skin.

I needed to come up with a plan, some way that Eidothea would believe me, would trust me. Evening faded into night. I heard footsteps approach my door, pause, and move on. My brother?

I flung open the cabin door and saw a hint of white skirt and dark blue cape vanish around a corner. Eidothea. I followed her outside. She crossed to the railing and looked out at the ocean. I scanned the deck and the rigging for Ladon. I saw a flash of movement at the bow.

“Eidothea.”

She spun around. I will remember her like that always. Hair loose and blowing about her face, wearing nothing but her shift and the cape. She drew the cape tightly around her, but not before I glimpsed the strap across her chest.

“You are leaving now.”

She nodded.

“I cannot lose you like this.” I closed the gap between us and embraced her. “Give me the Greal,” I whispered.

She pushed against my chest.

I tightened my grip. “Give it to me.” A flicker in my peripheral vision revealed Ladon on the move. I was out of time. “Now, Eidothea.”

Tears slid down her cheeks. “You cannot have it. Let me go, Jasper. I need to go.”

I kissed her hard, slipping the knife from its sheath. I would cut the bag free, Eidothea could make her escape overboard, and then I would deal with Ladon. I’d get the Greal back to her somehow.

The ship rolled hard to starboard. My knife sank deep into Eidothea’s side. She expelled a cry into my mouth. I had missed the bag.

“No…” I breathed.

Her hands cupped my face, her short nails grazing my scaly cheeks. “This was my vision. I knew…” Blood spattered the deck.

I pushed her away. She slumped against the railing, blood black against the white of her gown, blossoming across her belly and trailing down her skirt. Blood pulsed through her fingers clutching her side.

Our horrified gazes held. Ladon’s long laugh stirred me into action. “Run!” I shouted. “Run!”

She sank onto the deck, slid between the railing’s vertical stanchions, and fell.

I heard the splash and ran to the railing. Her white shift floated to the surface, swiftly borne away in the ship’s wake.

I whirled to face Ladon, to stop him from going after her and the Greal. I succeeded in that much for her—but not for long. Often the better fighter, Ladon overpowered me, leaving me stunned on the deck. He dove overboard.

When my senses returned, I crawled to where she had fallen. There was so much blood. How could she survive a wound like that?

I removed my coat, using the lining to soak up the blood and push the remainder off the edge. The uneven boards made it impossible to clean completely but I kept at it until I could not see any more by the deck’s lantern.

I should burn this … but I do not deserve to have this criminal act go unpunished.

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