15: Never Be Satisfied

Chapter 15 of "A River Trembles", Book Two of The Môrdreigiau Chronicles

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The story began in A Grail for Eidothea. You really need to catch up to make sense of A River Trembles. Go on, save this post and go have a binge read. You deserve it.

Llyr can’t lower the mental barrier he’s established between them. The Esteemed called another meeting with Eidothea. She went, wearing her new jewellery. They headed to the grotto, part of the palace gardens. They got a little drunk. The Esteemed attempted flirtation. Eidothea turned him down. Emrys (the Esteemed) had a dream that she would become his consort, his queen. Eidothea revealed her mark. His response came two days later: she’s under arrest for treason. Eidothea discovered she can make a magical defensive shield.

I glanced over my shoulder and over Llyr’s shoulder for we now stood back to back. The Esteemed sank back onto his throne. :This is not how I wished to introduce myself,: I said.

Llyr held up the Greal for all to see. Our bond might be blocked, but he knew what had to come next. I unhooked the shoulder chain and let my mark be clearly seen. Llyr slowly turned so all could see what he held. :The Greal is not lost.:

The crowd gasped, some even sobbed. Others grumbled, forgetting the royal edict against private speech during judgement sessions.

Llyr continued, :With it Queen and Prophet have been bound into the Chosen Court. We will continue to seek for yet more members until our Chosen Court is complete.:

The guards, no longer a threat, sat up with dazed expressions.

I moved to Llyr’s side, noticing that my grandmother, Ceridwy and Ondine had retreated to stand in the front of the crowd, safe for now. I faced the Esteemed and bowed. :The Chosen Court has returned. The Lady has chosen me as your Queen, and Llyr is my Prophet. Esteemed, you almost destroyed any hope of dreigiau môr—of our— survival.:

Emrys sat tall on his throne and smiled, looking very pleased with himself.

Lady Angharad sputtered, clutching at the arm rests. :I—I will not—: She shot a glance across at her beatific brother. :How do we know this not some sort of fraud?: She rose, standing in front of him.

:Our birthmarks shine, long known as the mark of the Lady, and you dare doubt us?: Llyr shot back.

:A magic.: Lady Angharad waved a dismissive hand. :Who can even be sure that is the Greal?:

:Is this magic also?: I laid my hand over Llyr’s upper arm. He juggled with the Greal and his sleeve. His metal armband fell to the stone floor. His birthmark flared.

My hand covered his Chosen mark. I plunged into the vision. I let everyone in Caer Morgana see the tragedy we faced. The sea devoid of life, the dreigiau môr skeletons, the barren sand and rock. Nothing lived. The vision shot us out of the water. I heard gasps around me. I let them see the smoke, the falling ash — and lifted my hand from Llyr’s shoulder.

The vision splintered and faded. Not a soul moved, but I heard soft, frightened cries.

:If you choose to ignore the Chosen Court,: I continued, :this is what will happen to us, or our children, or our grandchildren. In this generation, or a future one, it will happen.:

I glanced at Lady Angharad. She seemed startled and furious. I turned my attention to the assembled dreigiau môr, aware of the danger of turning my back to Lady Angharad but trusting now that Emrys would protect me. :As Llyr has said, the Chosen Court is not yet complete.: I broadcast this to all Caer Morgana. :We do not seek the throne yet.: I ignored Ceridwy’s frown and Llyr’s startle next to me. I turned to face the dais again.

Privately, I thought to the Esteemed, :And I would rather not have it at all.: Nobody chastised me for private speech this time.

He sank back in his throne, studying Llyr and I.

:There will be a Great Examination,: Llyr declared, recovering from my surprise announcement. :We’ll announce the timing of it soon. It will be open to all born the same year as I and younger.:

The usually quiet gossip current burst forth and streamed out the door, carried by excitement and hope.

I bowed to the Esteemed. :As to these charges of treason, I believe we have cleared ourselves and our families.:

Elin Grealseeker stepped forward. :I am proud to call Eidothea Pendyr my grand-daughter. May their Court reign long and well.:

From Lady Angharad’s glower, I knew she did not agree.

The Esteemed stood, sketching a bow. :Majesty, please forgive my sister’s abundance of caution. Shall we continue this conversation privately?:

At my assent, he descended all but the last step, extending a hand to me. I stepped forward and accepted it, joining him on the dais.

:My fellow dreigiau môr,: he declared in a thought meant to carry throughout the seas. :Meet your Queen of the Chosen Court, Eidothea Grealfinder!:

A roar of approbation rose within the hall. Outside came fainter cheers and speculative thoughts.

The Esteemed signalled for silence. :First, as our prophet Llyr has said, there must be a great examination. The Chosen Court must be found and assembled before Her Majesty’s coronation. When we next gather, it shall be to celebrate this historic moment.:

My hand still in his, the Esteemed led me out of the hall via a side door. I glanced over my shoulder, looking for Llyr. He did not follow, glowering. I sent him a gentle note of inquiry.

:You don’t need me.: His thought sounded clipped, cold. :Let me know when you are ready to include me in your plans.:

My mouth fell open. We had just won our place in dreigiau môr society. Why did he refuse? :You tell me when you want to be included!: I snapped. :How can I confide in someone closed off to me?: I muttered the shielding spell. I did not care to hear his response.

The Esteemed found an empty room and drew me inside. An ornate chair stood at the head of a rectangle made of stone couches. :Please sit. We have much to discuss. Llyr is not joining us?:

I settled onto a couch, pinning my jewellery piece back in place. :I do not know why.: The blue glow from my mark faded.

Emrys made to sit on the ornate chair and paused. :You are Queen. I shouldn’t sit here.: He sat on a stone couch opposite me.

:You are still the Esteemed,: I told him.

:For now.: He loosely linked his fingers before him, elbows on his thighs. :There are many specifics to discuss. A treaty, of sorts.:

I grimaced. :Esteemed, we are on the same side.:

:Yet we must negotiate this transfer of power in a way that doesn’t harm our citizens. I propose you stay here in the palace, Llyr too, and learn how Queen and Council function. When I’m satisfied of your capabilities, I’ll step aside.:

I leaned forward, annoyed by his reticence. Yet had I not said I would not claim the throne straight away? More than anyone except Llyr and Maeve, Emrys knew of my doubts and fears about my new role. I could not resist the jab though. :Emrys, will you ever be satisfied?:

Something sparked in his gaze. :Don’t you dare doubt me, Eidothea. We’re putting an end to centuries of tradition and I will not endanger Caer Morgana because the Lady wishes it.:

:I have no desire to harm the caer. Indeed, I mean to save all dreigiau môr and humanity. I will need you, Emrys, even after I meet your criteria of good governance.:

:Need me?: Emrys barked a laugh. :It is all or nothing, Eidothea. When you rule, nobody else will make the decision for you, and if they do, then you will have lost all your power. I won’t even intercede even if you need correcting.:

I rose, moving to sit next to him on the couch. He edged away.

:It is never all or nothing.: I gently thought. :You do not decide in a vacuum. I will have you, the Council and the Chosen Court to advise me, to lean on when times are hard.:

:You must know your own mind, else we will all be tossed in one direction and then another.:

:I hear the wisdom of that.: My hands clenched in my lap. I knew I did not want to be the Monarch, but no advice could change fate. :If I do not listen and do not learn, we will certainly be tossed about as you say.:

A short silence settled between us. I stared at the table between us, tracing the whorls of fossilised wood with my gaze. I peeked at him and caught him studying me.

:You might do,: he acknowledged.

:I will work hard,: I promised. :Is there room here for Maeve? She is making a slow journey back to Caer Morgana. I do not know where we can fit her…:

Emrys patted my hand, letting his rest on top of mine. :There is a large cavern beneath the city. Few know of it. We can check to see if it will hold her. The challenge will be getting her through the gate. They’re meant for a normal-sized dragon.:

I felt uneasy. :About staying…:

:We cannot waste half the day waiting for you to travel to the Royal Quarter from your grandmother’s home. There is plenty of room here.:

I chewed on my lip. :Is it safe?:

:I wonder if I am safe from you.: The Esteemed withdrew his hand and sat back.

:What do you mean?: I retorted, stung.

:You were lucky none of my guards had more than their pride damaged.:

:Oh that!: I gazed down at my hands, flexing them. :I do not know how I did it. There was no spell. Maybe it’s the bond between Llyr and I? Maeve said we would always know when one of the Chosen Court was in danger. Knowing is useless if you do not possess the means to rescue.:

The Esteemed blinked. :Quite.:

I repeated my earlier question. :Am I safe?:

He met my worried gaze. :Of course it isn’t safe here. I will do my best to protect you. My guards will be at your door. Angharad won’t be so foolish as to attack you on palace grounds.:

My eyebrows rose. :Will she not? I have been warned of her fury.:

:Oh, she’ll do your best to make your life miserable. Sometimes it’ll even be for a good reason and not the fact she’s no longer royal.: He saw my frightened expression and squeezed my hand. :You signify a lot of change. Angharad is not your only enemy.:

:And you?:

:I don’t like it but I’ve made my decision to support you. It is best for the dreigiau môr. I led my sister to accuse you because I worried you wouldn’t make your announcement public enough. You have Ceridwy advising you. She thinks the whole world revolves around the Council.:

I blinked. He was right. They had decided exactly that. :Rhiannon has been teaching me until now,: I told him, changing the subject. :On all things dreigiau môr, not just the politicking,:

:Administration doesn’t make for an exciting tale. She may come and stay with you. Having her as your companion will give you an added layer of security.:

I swallowed. :That I will need?:

Emrys shrugged. :Maybe. Possibly. Now, shall we pick a suite for you?: He rose. Reclaiming my hand in his, whatever fear he’d felt had been quelled. :Any requests?:

:As far from Lady Angharad as possible,: I decided, :and not so close to your chambers that people might talk.:

He glanced down at our clasped hands and released me. :Nobody outside the Royal Quarter knows the locations of our bedrooms.:

:That is still quite a few people.:

:Am I that awful a choice?: He led the way further into the palace.

:It is not that.: While there was something quietly charismatic about Emrys, I could not lie and tell him that if the timing been better or if he’d been a few years younger, for he would know it for a falsehood. :I do not wish to be seen as your puppet, or having no agency of my own.:

He sighed. :There is a politician in you.: We walked on. :You need to shadow me in all my dealings for you to be properly prepared. I don’t plan on hiding even the most trivial aspect of this vocation from you.:

The rooms we passed became plainer, although no less beautiful. He stopped in the midst of a wide hallway. Two sets of double doors stood directly opposite each other.

Emrys gestured behind him. :These are my quarters, which includes my consort’s bedchamber. Empty now, of course,: he hastened to add. :The rooms behind you could be yours.:

I retreated a step to allow him to open the doors. A dim light came from tall windows on our left. Emrys spelled the lights into being. Bare of any furniture, the lit chamber functioned as an antechamber to a second room. Ahead, another door stood ajar.

:You’ll sleep through there. Here, you will study with Rhiannon and take your own private meetings. I have no intention of interfering with your Great Examination, but only advise that you allow enough time for all the dreigiau môr to gather. Some live along the coast and not here. Word must be sent to everyone.:

I nodded. :My education will not happen overnight either.: I glanced sideways at him. :Is this not too close to your own chambers?:

Emrys shrugged, failing to conceal a smile. :There’s another set further down the hall. I thought you would like Llyr to be near you as well. There aren’t two more like this, unless you want to sleep across from my sister’s chambers?:

I surveyed the empty chamber. :Here will be fine. I do not have any items to bring with me, but … do you need time to prepare these rooms? They have been empty for a while.:

:I couldn’t act without tipping my hand to Angharad, and of course I didn’t know if you’d agree to stay. They will be ready for you and Rhiannon tomorrow.:

With this agreed, I let him guide me to the first guard we came across, which surprisingly took a while. He took his leave, the short bow appropriate for peer to peer. I had claimed the crown but I had yet to wear it. I had much to prove.

Why didn’t you immediately join Eidothea in the palace?

:Did you see?: Ondine stood beside me, tugging on my sleeve.

I set my back to the dais. She followed, hanging on to my robe. Eidothea had left with the Esteemed. She’d planned it all with him and left me out of it. I struggled to keep my temper. :See what?: I got out.

:The guards would have killed you but Eidothea pushed them back with magic. It came from her Chosen mark, I’m sure of it!:

:So?: Ondine could be an annoying little sister at times.

:You could have been gored. She saved you.: Ondine gave up tugging on my sleeve and grabbed my forearm. :Llyr, what’s wrong? Why didn’t you join her just now?:

:She saw fit to plan all this without letting any of us in on it. Did you see the looks she exchanged with the Esteemed?:

:She looked terrified.: Ondine frowned. :I don’t think she planned this. Are you jealous? It’s just politics!:

:Don’t chastise me.: I stalked away from the dais, Ondine at my heels. :You don’t know that it is just that.: I certainly didn’t. I had to figure out how to dismantle the spell that separated us.

Mother caught up with us. :Llyr, I’m glad you didn’t follow her.:

That surprised me. Mother loved adulation and recognition more than anyone. :Why?:

:You still have your freedom of movement. I left the palace for a reason. Eidothea is nothing but a caged bird now. If she thinks the Esteemed and his sister are allies, she’s much mistaken.:

:She is no fool, but an optimist. She will keep trying to convince them.:

:That’s the very definition of a fool.: Mother snorted. :This time will be very busy for you now. The prophet must be seen and adored by the people. Whatever attacks the royal family try — and they are not done with us yet — we must have the people on our side and clip their wings.:

I let Mother plot and plan what sounded like an incessant whirl of parties and dinners. :You should visit the Chief Bard also. There are old ways they know of that might enhance your prophetic powers.:

:I will be tutored by Maeve, no other.: I strode ahead, hailing Cychwr. He met me at the gate with a ready smile. Only a brief frown indicated he knew something was amiss, but he kept his silence. I’d confide in him in time but first we’d race through the ocean until we exhausted ourselves.

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